I nodded my head knowingly as I read your post; I'm sure everyone else did the same. It's hard to wrap your head around the level of cruelty our wives/husbands/partners can serve up, isn't it? But please listen to and believe what the others on this forum are saying: it will take time and a lot of work on your part, but you will come out on the other side stronger and feeling better.
The 180s/GAL are for you and you only; they are your own therapy plans. Stay active. Focus on anything but your P(partner). It's very hard to do; I know. But that constant ache in the pit of your stomach will occur less frequently, and slowly be replaced with a sense of peace and confidence. There will be days when you feel like sliding right back down the rabbit hole; it happens to all of us. Just don't stay down there.
Set boundaries - not ultimatums - regarding your P's behavior around you. Make it very clear what you will not tolerate. Control the subject and length of conversations with your P. This will help you feel like you are regaining control of your own life, instead of letting your P control it for you.
Post here often. At first your posts will not show up for a couple of days. Just keep writing; it helps to get it out. Remember: you did NOT do this. Don't take on any blame or guilt for your P's actions.
Stay the course.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
