Perfect.. this is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. These are measurable goals, expect the last one.


More 'fun stuff'

1) date 1x/wk minimum (great DB goal: action oriented, positively stated, doable in the next two weeks)


2) holiday 1x/yr minimum (later goal)
3) whole family activity 1x/wk (later goal)



If you make things more fun for him in general you are more likely to meet these goals.


4) get married


Quote:
Less of... Hmm. Me personally, I'd like less of his attitude that things kinda just "happen." This is something that permeates many aspects of his/our lives. It's that belief that emotionally, if things are meant to be, they will be easy, don't need working at, or effort putting into them. Practically, it's him having the desire for something to happen but not putting a defined effort in to achieve that.


This might not happen--but you can create change around the behaviors that come out of it. Very happy couples often are in disagreement about these kinds of attitudes.



So focus on the small stuff first. Baby steps eventually snowball to create the big overall happy relationship.

So--related to the first goal:

What would have to happen before you two could go on a date together?

What would you like to do? What do you think HE would like to do?

dbmod