Half in and half out... How do I move forward?

[barnaby]

What do YOU really want--what are your goals for your relationship with him? Is it important to you to be married? What specifically do you want more of in the relationship? What do you want less of?

Goals? Hmm. Not sure if this is the sort of thing you're talking about, but I want us to prioritise "fun" stuff together. For example, we took a holiday last year just the two of us. I think devoting time exclusively to "us" (me and him as a couple OUTSIDE of us as parents.) So I'd be looking at a "date" at least once a week. A holiday at least once a year. Also a whole family activity at least once a week.

Yes it is important to me to be married. He knows this. We were planning to get married later this year. He wanted to whisk me away, just the two of us, when the baby was old enough to be left for a weekend. I love the idea but was torn between that and wanting to have the children with us as well. He loved the idea of it being about just me and him.

I'd like more forward planning between the two of us. I'm the planner, the organiser. He hardly thinks beyond the end of the day. We both want to buy a house when we've saved up enough for a deposit. I can organise this but it'd be much easier to get him actively on board.

Less of... Hmm. Me personally, I'd like less of his attitude that things kinda just "happen." This is something that permeates many aspects of his/our lives. It's that belief that emotionally, if things are meant to be, they will be easy, don't need working at, or effort putting into them. Practically, it's him having the desire for something to happen but not putting a defined effort in to achieve that.