I agree, there's a very fine line between the two.
It's been VERY hard to detach this week, because I can tell she is in a lot of pain. Unfortunately, she's not taking care of herself and she's bringing a lot of the pain on herself because of that.
Honestly, I will say it's a little easier to lean toward the not give a rip when she expresses frustration about me not just giving the D.
She is responsibile for her feelings. NO ONE can make her feel anything, she has to own her own feelings. Just as you must own yours.
Her frustration is hers to cope with, it's not yours. So she's frustrated, hmmm, that's unfortunate.
Your job is to cope with YOUR feelings, control them, and choose how you wish to feel about events. It's hard work too, but it's in your grasp, the other stuff with your W, not so much.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Did I now? LOL, that's my version of not giving a rip LOL.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Feeling a little low today. I hate when I get on the topic of D with my W and she justifies her position and desire for D. There are times I question how much effect the 2.5 months on the M.
I am trying to refocus on some things today. I need to do a better job of detaching. I think I am letting myself get a little too close. I am running ahead in my mind. I am looking too hard for results in my M. Need to stop sprinting and get back in the marathon. I need to get the GAL cranked up again.
The upside is my S is here at work with me today for Bring Your S/D to work day.
Got home tonight with my S. No W, no word from W. I had Community Group with my church tonight. Texted my W asking if I need to my S to Community Group with me. My S called her until she answered. She had forgotten I had it tonight. My S ended up going with me.
She informed me she is spending the night at her sister's place. She may have told me this before. She is going to the Women of Faith conference this weekend with her sister and Mom. Hopefully, God will draw her closer at this conference.
All in all, it was a decent conversation. It looks like she may not be moving out in a week after all. I think the L scared her out of it. This may mean more pressure for the D, though.
I had already known about the conference, so I will be GAL'ing with my S this weekend.
My W also informed me her brother is having a birthday party for our niece on Sunday. She was assuming I didn't want to go. Would it be a 180 to go anyway? Or maybe I could GAL instead of going?
Little tired this morning. Haven't really slept great all week and have been going to bed too late and getting up too early.
I'll have to admit, the space from my W as she is right now was kind of nice. It's helping with detaching. In fact, I was a little disappointed when I found out here conference is over on Saturday evening instead of Sunday morning. Don't get me wrong - I miss her, but the space feels good right now.
I get to spend some time with my S this weekend. I am going to visit some mutual friends tonight of my W and me - my S has a good friend there. It is actually supposed to be nice tomorrow here, so I may take him to play golf, bike riding, a Reds game, or heck - maybe we'll go wreck the go-carts again!
We had a great time at our friends house last night. Ended up talking the whole time about my sitch. My friends are very supportive of the whole DB philosophy.
Actually got a somewhat decent night's sleep. Got up late and went for a 3 mi. run.
I think I am going to take my S out to play golf this afternoon. I am hoping to take him to a Reds game this evening. However, my W just texted me and asked if I could my S to her parents, in order to go to her brother's house tomorrow. I'm holding off on texting her back. I have been debating on whether or not to go up to her brother's. She has assumed I didn't want to go. I think she really doesn't want me to go because she will feel uncomfortable.
I am thinking maybe I can just stay back, but take him to her parents before church tomorrow morning.
Out GAL'ing today with my S. I took him to play golf. We played 9 holes on an easy local course. We had a good time. Tried to take him to a Reds game, but the game was sold out! So on to Plan B. We went back to the go-carts. We went around 8 times. Had a really good time there, too!
About the whole BIL thing, finally texted my W back. Just really short - plans tonight. Tomorrow morning OK? - in reference to taking him up to the IL's house. Later texted her about going up to the BIL ("I guess I'm not going?"). She had ASSUMED that I didn't want to go. I replied back and told her I DID want to go, but I have a commitment at church and I didn't want to cause her any stress, so I wouldn't go. She replied back with that "I know it's different". Kind of ticked me off a little bit, trying to impart some WAW wisdom on me, and deep down, it's total BS to me. I'm just going to shake it off.
I am going to GAL tomorrow. If it's not raining, I'll try to get out and bike 18 miles. If it is raining, I'll probably go for a hike. I may see what else I can get into.
Dropped my S off this morning at my W's parents house. Had a decent conversation with the IL. I think the more I'm going through this journey, I am realizing how much pain my W has harbored over the years. It's very unhealthy. I own the pain I have caused her. However, I don't think what I've caused her is the full picture. I think she really needs to get some help in working through this pain. She is thinking the D is going to solve this pain, but I'm afraid it's only going to add to it.
Going to work on GAL today. It's just sprinkling outside occasionally. I think I'll try and stick to the 18 mi. bike ride plan. I may try to squeeze in some golf. If it really starts raining I may just stay home, relax, and watch a movie.
