Mish, I think when you've lost a R (and even if it returns)it brings home the fact that nothing is ever really safe! We build our lives around things and R's and then when they fall apart we feel vulnerable, insecure and have to deal with uncertainty. I know myself the uncertainty drives me nuts, but I also know that it's a reality and I have to figure out how to live with it. When I was married my life felt planned and secure, I didn't really think about the future because my present was enough. Now, I don't have that in the way I did before. The future stares me in the face and I'm always thinking about how to deal with it. In your case, you have a stressful R with your spouse and the loss of your mother not too long ago. That's a lot. That R with a parent is again one of those rocks we build our lives around. We know one day they wont' be there but when it happens it's like we never realized it could happen! You spent a great deal of time looking after your Mom, it was a major focus of your life for a good long time and now it's gone. What to do? It brings up questions which I think you're now pondering. So, maybe just sit back for a bit and pray that the answers will come. Sometimes the more pressure we put on ourselves to move forward the harder it becomes! I hope I'm making some sense here.
