When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

There have been a lot of things rattling around my head that I'm having a hard time with. There is no definition to my life as I see it and I don't take very well to that. There are so many choices I've made that have led me to this place but they were my choices and I need to learn to live with them since they can't be undone.

Do you ever look back on your life and wonder what happened? I do....every day. In the distant past I had dreams and plans and I threw them all away for the hope of building a family. I achieved that goal and then lost part of it. I'm grateful every day for my son even though he drives me past the point of sanity SO often.

What's missing? A future. I can't see one at all and it's making me so sad to know that. I need a new career but can't find a way to accomplish that. I need to feel secure but that isn't possible. I know what I need, but can't find a way to get any of it. I think I've given up trying.

So what now?