Well, for the moment we're both dark and I'm waiting for her to make first contact (her terms on leaving). We'll just see.
But support from all my friends, family, and coworkers has been fantastic. And while not all my GAL efforts have been superb, I will say that picking up social dancing (silly old-fashioned stuff, swing and foxtrot and the like) has been a real lift. I just got back from three hours of dancing at the local town hall (all strung up with Christmas lights, very old fashioned) and it was a ton of fun.
I barely did anything besides the few basic steps I learned that day, but everyone was great fun, and since the ratio of women to men was so great, I was constantly being asked to dance--not in any sort of "attraction" thing, because I'm certainly not looking for that (and besides the age range was all over the map), but it was just nice to feel appreciated. I haven't laughed or smiled that much in... well, months and months, to be honest. For the first time since she left, I was able to walk in the door of my house and not feel a tightness in my chest.
And I'm still hopeful. Because that's what I know how to be, and because I love her. But I also know I'll survive if this continues to deteriorate, and I deserve--well, we BOTH deserve better than we have been treating each other. I'd just like to learn how rather than throw it all away.
