Cat... Good, I didn't think a direct confrontation was the right thing to do.
I have been doing the exercises in NMMNG and it has really opened up my eyes. Sometimes I get mad at her for the way things have been, but realize now that most of it has been based on my own insecurities.
I think the best thing that has happened to me is knowing that I can do everything in the world and still lose her. (By lose her I also mean that she goes through and finds a PA and EA). This realization has helped me to stand up, and tell her what I feel, and what I need from her. Just earlier today she physically hurt me while playing, I told her that we can play fight all she wants, but to be careful she doesn't hurt me, once she doesn't get her way. She got quiet, and then a few minutes went into our bedroom and is now sleeping there. Not sure if she is mad, don't really care. I'm sure she'll get over it.
I respect myself in all aspects, except when it has come to my W. That has been my biggest weakness. I realized months ago when I started DBing that I had to be happy regardless of the outcome. Reading NMMNG lately has opened my eyes and showed me that I am this spineless weak, yet conniving bastard, because I did not love myself. I let my W do all this because I was afraid of losing her, and because I have been so desperate for her approval. I hope that is no more.
Oh btw I played cards for 4 hours and came in 3rd today!!!! This is a big deal considering I have been only playing for a month, and we have some of the best players in the state. Oh yeah.....
