Unwavering hostility

[AntoniaB]

"Maybe I'm still trying to think rationally here, but I will never truly understand how they think that they can walk away, leave mass destruction and then think that we can be friends w/them again. My friends have never done this to me and I sure as heck wouldn't treat them the way that my xh did."

I get this totally. This is what I'm telling myself lately:

The only reason that XH has this in his head is that, if he is the classic narcissist/MLCer, and he "fits the profile", then he feels like never in his life has he had it "his way" or "done what HE wants" because he first tried to please abusive parents, then he chose me, a person who loved every little thing he did, and he went overboard with "doing" for me. So now, it's "all about him", as it has never been about him before.

So fine. He's a teenager now. A teenager doesn't make a good husband ;-) Let the OW deal with Mr. Teenage boy.

I'm doing just fine without him, and you know, I miss him terribly. I really do. But I can't be part of his life anymore till he gets this out of his system, and he may have burned the bridges so badly that there is no repairing them.

I think that when we can come to a point where we stop sacrificing ourselves for them that we really become empowered as individuals. And as always, this experience really teaches us who our REAL friends are. Sadly, our exes don't seem to fit this definition...