Hey Islander...took me a while to catch up on your story, but I realized today that you and I are close in age and so are our W's. It's so odd how so many people's sitches are so similar.
I feel like I am constantly analyzing too, and I know I need to stop that as soon as possible because my W is perceptive enough to realize that I'm doing it.
Had a DB coaching session this morning, and I thought something we talked about might be appropriate here. The hard part for me has been walking the line between maintaining a positive connection and pursuing. My coach says that as long as I can stay upbeat and keep things lighthearted while avoiding R talk as much as possible (which is my big downfall), it's perfectly fine to act as I normally would as far as communication.
But like you, man is that hard as he!! when I'm missing her or in a down mood. It's getting easier, sure, but some days I feel like punching anything and everything within reach. My coach said detaching and going dark are very different things. I've seen in several posts the phrase "Detach from the R, not the person." Don't know if it helps, but that's where I am.
And since you're a little further along than I am, any insight on my thread would be greatly appreciated.
Stay strong man.
BITS M: 35 W: 27 T 7.5 years M 5 years No kids My EA: 3/08 Her EA: 1/11, discovered 3/11 (ongoing?) ILYBINILY, D mentioned 3/8/11 W at parents house: 4/16/11
