Maybe I'm still trying to think rationally here, but I will never truly understand how they think that they can walk away, leave mass destruction and then think that we can be friends w/them again. My friends have never done this to me and I sure as heck wouldn't treat them the way that my xh did.

As for the children, they have lost all respect and will be extremely leery of their mlcing parents for a very long time. Trying to regain that trust and level of parenting will take a very long time and I don't think most they have it in them to do it...it's a lot of work.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.