Welcome to divorcebusting.com--officially. I am sorry you are finding yourself in the position that lead you here, but I'm glad you found us. This is a very caring community and many of us have developed a good deal of the divorcebusting skillset and can help you do the same.
The Last Resort Technique IS probably what you should be using, however it takes awhile to be fully affective, especially if you are a typical woman dealing with a typical man who has started an affair. It make take him 8-12 weeks to begin to feel the affect and feel some shock, and the affair may buffer him from this a bit. It is STILL what you should try first, and you seem to have been a bit effective at the beginning, even though it doesn't feel that way to you.
This is your chance to do a few things that will make your life better:
1) GAL--Get a Life--aka MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY -- you are worth it, and he's not going to do it -- AND you will be able to turn his head when YOU come off happier than he does. It's not finding another man that will be likely to make him jealous, it's being happier than him that will make him jealous. Like it may have been the best thing to happen to you. Don't tell him it was. Just look happy.
If he asks, be nonchalant. If he asks if you want a divorce, you say no. If he asks if you want him back, you're not sure. Maybe.
2) Be mysterious. Not sneaky, just not predictable. What can he just be sure you are going to do or say that just irritates him or bores him to death. Again, nonchalant and vague if he asks. Not weird vague, just noncommittal vague.
3)When you feel like freaking out--be careful who you freak out and complain with. Freak out here. Don't complain to people who are going to complain with you and take your side too much--that gets in the way of you getting back together.
ABOVE ALL-- Take care of yourself. You're worth it. You deserve it. It makes you more attractive.
One last thought--this will probably peter out. A good deal of folks who hit a midlife crisis (MLC) and affairs snap out of it in 6m/2 yrs. That may or may not be comforting to you, but it IS doable, and marriages come through this, many of them stronger than before.
