Hi Snodderly and Punkin. What happened was he said he wanted to come home but he wanted me to contact his family (I guess so it would be smooth. For him). So I wrote a letter so nice it would make you sick. I never did anything to them but said I was sorry if I had offended them in any way and so on. Well his sister sends me a message through Facebook and tells me to go to hell because I'm the reason he didn't speak to them for 12 years and that I will never be welcome in their lives again!
What really happened is H wanted to adopt my son and H heard his sister and mother having a fit and called a 4 year old little boy names. H got off the couch so fast and ran up the street so fast I couldn't stop him and he told his mother off. Now remember these are the same people that pushed me to marry H. What did they think I was going to do with him once we were married?
I tried to talk to H about him making up with them for years but he said no way. And I was honest and also told him my only fear if they did make up was that they would cause problems and try to break our marriage up. I know how they work and they are very bitter and mean people. H said he would never let that happen. Well H was always a needy person as far as feeling loved because his parents divorced and his mother gave him to his father when he was 2 years old cause she said she couldn't handle him. So for years he was thrown back and forth until high school and he lived with his father until he was 18 and then decided he wanted to live with his mother.
I could be very wrong because we never discussed it but 6 months before he left his father told him that his mother tried to abort him. I couldn't believe hetold him that. H's mother did tell me many years ago but I would never tell anyone something like that, it's just cruel. I think that's what pushed H into his depression even more and started his MLC. His mother's side never cared about him and I saw that from the time we were dating.
So after about 9 months after we separated and his father and step mother weren't bothering that much with him he made up with his mother's side.
It was 2 days after his sister responded to my letter that he said he changed his mind through a text message. No explaintation nothing.
H and D14 didn't have the argument until 3 weeks later so that wasn't his excuse for not coming home. I would put money on it that both sides of his family told him that if he came back they were done with him. So I think he got scared thinking that if the M didn't work he wouldn't have anyone and he can't be alone, he always wanted everyones approva.
But what really hurts is that he attended his son's senior night and so did his father and step mother but won't come to his D's Confirmation because he said he can't stand being in the same room as I'm in and he told me he loved me and everything at the end of Jan. When I brought up about him going to his son's senior night he lied and said it was just a game and I told him no it wasn't you and your ex girlfriend and er husband walked with him he went dead silent. Then he comes off with well we get along now. How does a parent pick one child over another and him and D14 were stuck like glue.
He said he decided not to come home cause there was no trust and I just said that I didn't know what happened to him before we met but someone betrayed him because he never trusted me and I never gave him a reason not to trust me. Dead silent. Then he said tell D14 not to send invitation cause he wasn't coming. I know it was far from DBusting but I hung up on him.
Punkin, I can't send pics cause he changed his phone number and we don't have it. He changed it after D14 blocked him from calling her after they had the fight. So instead of fighting for my M with an OW it's his family.
I think H thought that if I contacted them and everyone got along he wouldn't have to worry if he came home and things didn't work out cause he would still have them. But then again I coulld be wrong. He was even talking about fixing up our spare room and re doing the deck....it just doesn't make sense to me. And I guess he told his family what our D14 said to him cause his sister told her off through Facebook too. I never knew you could send messages through there if you weren't friends.
Keep in mind his 2 brothers and sister are all over 40 and they all blocked her from their Facebook. She was trying to talk to them I guess (brothers) and the poor kid said even my uncles don’t want to talk to me.
H said she's just like me and I said what do you mean and he said a trouble maker. I couldn't believe what I heard. He always said I was too nice and trusting and that's why people took advantage of me now he's saying I'm the trouble maker. Look at what his family has done.
Just hope he shows up for her today but I doubt it very highly.
