New - HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed

[islander]

First things first. I understand how hurt and how bad you feel it is normalBut if you have letterally felt suicidal, you need to go talk to somebody ASAP and maybe get on some ADs to help you through this difficult time.

Trust me, I know how devasting this is for you.
It's a living he!!

I don't know what causes a spouse to hurt the one they committed their life to as if that never mattered. But your right, he is not the person you married right now. I can't imagine what is going through his head that made him think it was ok to talk to her in front of you. Absolute craziness.

I wish I had some great advice to give you. I struggle everyday myself. But, you will get some great advice here.