Quote: She said she just wanted someone to help her get back to feeling normal again and to help her get off her ADs.
Why in the world would she want to go off her ADs? You need to help her understand that they are a necessity, that they should be taken for at least 1-2 years, and that some people need to be on them for life. If she has problems with side effects, she should try different ADs until she gets ones that work right for her. If she wants to add some natural therapy, she can try multivitamins with extra B complex, fish oil capsules, and light therapy (with special lamps made for seasonal affective disorder - studies suggest they may work for regular depression as well).
I wouldn't push her to go to counseling - the odds of getting a "bad" counselor who will just validate all her negative feelings are just too great, I'm afraid. I think the MC H and I went through CAUSED a lot of the damage that led to his affair. Not surprising that she doesn't want to face all the things she did wrong! Might be more useful if she would go to a couples retreat of some sort with you - but I'd wait on that, even. If you haven't shared the "Five Love Languages" book with her, I'd start with that.
