Why on earth would you trust her, when she's been having multiple affairs for what -- NINE YEARS now, and lying to you about them?
Reccos, I would forget about your wife, and get some good independent counseling (IC) for yourself, to try to figure out the root of your fears and co-dependency.
Sorry to be so harsh, but nine years is an AWFULLY long time to put up with this kind of behavior from your wife.
