Everything came to a head when a good friend of mine confronted W about this affair she was having with this guy who is married with wife and family in another state. Apparently he was traveling into town every two weeks. W said that the A was coming to an end because OM company was closing the office here.
I am thinking even though the office closed, OM still travels to here once a month. I think that he and W still see each when he comes to town. I am also afraid that he is giving her the line that he will never lie to her. Why would he? W could never validate whether it’s true or not. Just late last week, she was in a very good mood. What her psychiatrist termed a hypo manic state. So I think he was in town. She also took work off Thursday afternoon. I think she saw him Thursday and Friday morning.
I am trying very hard to work on myself and not have this affair affect me. I am trying to be upbeat and positive with W. W seems to like that as well as the attentiveness.
This is very hard.
W has shut me out almost totally with any affection. I am very frustrated with that.
I have told W that I totally trust her. But having a difficult time with that as well. Fearful that if I go dark, that W will go back to surfing the online dating sites and looking for that attention.
What do I do if my suspicsions about OM is true? Do I confront W? I feel divorce is not the answer. I can attest to that from experience. Don’t want to go through another divorce.
I am desperately looking for direction, support, advice and help...
Why on earth would you trust her, when she's been having multiple affairs for what -- NINE YEARS now, and lying to you about them?
Reccos, I would forget about your wife, and get some good independent counseling (IC) for yourself, to try to figure out the root of your fears and co-dependency.
Sorry to be so harsh, but nine years is an AWFULLY long time to put up with this kind of behavior from your wife.
