You are doing a great job and "C" seems to be holding her own in this new R of yours too. Sounds wonderful and so filled with postives, looks like 2004 is gonna be Ogda and "C's" year too. T2
When I was with C last, as I was leaving she told me she had volunteered to baby sit her niece and nephew over night on Friday night and asked me to come over and help her. She said that one would stay in the Guest room and the other on a mattress in the upstairs office but that that would mean that I would have to sleep with her. (Well, shucks, I guess if I had to I would. )
Well I got there around 4:30 and found out that she had been sick (lower intestine bug of some kind) and was not feeling well and was up half the night the night before) she got there within seconds after me and had groceries and I helped carry them upstairs and put them in the Frig.
Since she was not feeling well we just sat down and chatted while waiting on the kids to get there. When they got there we put on a frozen pizza and I sat down w/ niece and played with her while waiting on pizza to cook. She does not do too bad with crayons but she had a tendency to just make a very small mark with one color before wanting another color. With a puppy around that likes to eat crayons we could not just leave them sitting out and had to put them back in the box after each one she used but the interaction and talking with her after each color was good. Nephew was busy watching tv. We ate the pizza and I helped clean up and then kept the kids busy so C could rest some. She was with us but I tried to do as much as I could. She seemed to really enjoy watching me bond with them.
Letting them play with puppy also helped wear them down some but it did take awhile to get them tired as Sis did us a “big favor” by letting niece take a long nap in the afternoon just before bringing them over. But we finally got them down around 10.
C and I spooned in bed but she was so tired and not feeling well that we did not ML. Niece did cry some in the night and C went to her for awhile but did come back to bed rather than to the coach like she use to do and was spooning with me till morning. (Really nice night)
I got up before her and made coffee but it was not long before niece woke up and started crying again. (new bed and all) but as soon as I went in she gave me a hug and stopped crying. Not in time to not wake up C though as she came in at the same time and we all went to living room and I got C some Coffee while she played w/ niece. After coffee (and chocolate milk for kids) I fixed breakfast, biscuits (which I let niece help me with) eggs, and turkey summer sausage.
C’s BIL came as we finished breakfast to pick up kids. Kids had a good time, C had a good time, and I had a good time. As they left, C told me that since the kids did not have any grandparents on either side of the family, we were the closest thing they had to grandparents and thanked me for helping her with them and gave me a big hug.
We then went down stairs to her office. She wanted me to help her copy a file from her digital recorder to a CD and I showed her how to do it. After going back upstairs she felt that going to get her hair done would make her feel better so she set up appointment with hair dresser for 2pm. (Just 2 hours away) so we took a shower. Then got dressed and went to the mall where her hair dresser was and looked around some until time for her appointment. Her chair was the first one up front and I sat and watched while she had her hair done. Picked up some pointers from what he did.
We then went to the food court for lunch then headed back. She wanted to stop by her nail place for a manicure and pedicure. Previously she had told me that I should get a pedicure and that I would enjoy it and I said that I would so she asked me if I would get one with her and I said I would.
A little background from earlier in the day. C got a call from her GF and I heard part of the conversation but did not eves drop, C was sitting next to me and did not move. I did pick up that she wanted to go out with her that night though. After the phone call she told me that GF was seeing a man that was separated and he told GF that he wanted to move in but that he would not move ahead with his D. GF told C that she cut off her R with him and was feeling kinda down and wanted to go out w/ C that night to have something to do to get her mind off her sitch. Well, as we were driving to the nail shop I noticed something was on her mind and I asked her. C was hesitant but said she felt she had to go see GF later and I said I thought that was a given and was planning on it. She still seemed troubled though and I asked her what was on her mind. She said - to be blunt, she felt bad about “running me off”. I told her that she was not running me off, that I felt that I was a guest in her house and that I had no right to expect any more time with her than what she gave me. I told her that I knew that she had other things to do and I expected her to do them. That I was just happy for the time we were together and enjoyed that time. And to not feel that she was “running me off”. She said thanks for my feeling that way.
We got to the nail salon and they took both of us in right away and we were in the hydro foot bath thing side by side and she seemed to enjoy watching me get a pedicure and manicure beside her. It did feel really good too. Got a leg and foot massage along with a arm and hand massage. Sat in a chair that had a back massage thingie too.
When we were done we went back to her house and I reset her code on her wireless keypad to the garage door opener. She followed instructions but it did not work. I showed her how to do it so she could change the code again if she wanted.
As I was getting ready to go I reviewed what all I had done for her and asked if I had missed anything. She said it sounded like she had a “honey-do” list for me. I said well it seems like I am still your “honey”. That got me another big hug and kiss before I left. (Just some of many throughout the date)
I kinda did this post in a hurry - going to go see my mom for a few and am running late. If I left anything out I will fill in later.
Just checking up on you Odga, and see that you are still making great progress. I agree with Ellie, you are a prince of a man and it definately sounds like C is seeing and appreciating that.
I loved your recap of time with the kids. When C is feeling better, it seems like you two spending some time with the kids is a great way to bond. Kids have a way of getting you out of your own head & refreshing your view of the world. Besides, what a gift that would be to the kids since they don't have grandparents around. I LOVE being an Aunty, can you tell?
Wow, you are awesome! I have just been reading through your posts and it sounds a lot like my situation. I would love your feedback!
My GF sounds a little like your W in how confused she is, but Im not getting as many blatant responses yet, but Im hoping it will come soon. Keep it up and I pray I can achieve what you have soon.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Just checking in. I might have missed it, but did you locate a good counselor? If not, I would encourage you that when you do find one to go to an individual session alone first. (I think you probably already have thought this through...but just in case...) That way, you can get a better sense of that counselor's solution focus and optimism. Just a thought.
By the way, I had a great latte this morning - extra hot! Hope you enjoyed your coffee!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Will "talk" to you later this week..take care, Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
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