Starting this post with 2 quick quotes from Thoreau.
1. Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.
2. For every thousand men hacking at the branches of evil, there is one man striking at the root.
And here's another quote for good measure, though I don't know who it comes from:
"I have seen the enemy and it is us."
For the past 6 months I had been desperately, dangerously, deliriously obsessing over my long lost walk away wife. I had been checking my emails, text messages, phone messages sometimes 50 times a day, sometimes every 5 minutes, I had been constantly watching what she does on facebook, I had tried every play and move and tip and trick and technique and strategy I could think of in order to win her back, hell even just to hear her talk or type to me...
And I have been coming to this forum for several months, and for the most part, getting a lot of awesome feedback and support.
There is no question in my mind or heart that I am now light years ahead in my personal development, happiness, self-esteem and confidence than I was when she first dropped the bomb that blew up my illusions.
6 months ago, I couldn't even hear that she was practically begging me to come back and be with her and listen to her and help her find our way together.
I couldn't hear her because I was so wrapped up in all of my own stuff. Couldn't even see how good I really had it until all of it was gone.
And yet I realize that both of us had brought so much fear and doubt and uncertainty into the relationship, and each of us had contributed to making things so unworkable for ourselves that eventually she was forced to end it. And in many ways, I am really glad she did. Now we are each, in our own way, restoring our integrity. And as I said the other day, integrity gives access to workability.
I gotta be on the road here in a minute so I'm gonna have to pick this up a little later, but I just wanted to begin by saying relax. Everything will be fine.
It's all going to be okay.
You're going to make it through all of this and be a much happier, healthier, whole-ier more awesome radiant delicious human being than ever.
Just work on your integrity. Practice keeping your word to yourself and other people. See what happens when you do.
With Love,
Mike
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
