Nothing much to report on lately. I figured I would keep you all up to date just because I'm so close to my due date. I'm hoping next week will be my last at school and then I can just focus on being ready for the baby.
Today was a nice day for me. It's teacher appreciation week, and the parent of my twins in my class sent me thank you cards "from" each boy. It was awesome (they're non-verbal autistic so she wrote out funny notes about how I deal with each of their challenging behaviors). I also got a lot done as far as paperwork goes.
I picked up the "Hold Me Tight" book last night. I got a good ways through, but had to go to bed. I plan on reading more this afternoon before my dinner date with my grad school friends.
That was kind of sad thing today. I put in a leave of absence for grad school. The only thing between me and my degree (and a license waiting for that diploma...) is one lousy huge paper. In the past 18 months my brother was arrested and put in an inpatient (and several outpatient) treatment faciilities for heroin addiction (thankfully he's been sober for over a year now), and I was effectively his case worker during that time. My mother filed for bankruptcy and did a deed in lieu of foreclosure to get rid of her falling apart old house that she'd been in for 20 years (oh yes, and she's got BAD ADHD, so we worked a LOT on working through that and getting her to accept the fact that she has a disease and needs help). I put in claims for over 40k in medical issues last year (gallbladder removal, heart procedure, TMJ splints, pelvic floor disorder and not being able to ovulate). And then I also worked in the most miserable job I've ever had in my life, then got this job that I love, and then immediatley got pregnant the week it started.
And then my H decided he wanted to leave me.
So it's been rough. And writing a paper has not exactly been on the top of my priority list. So in order to extend my deadline to finish my school in time, I'm taking a break.
I texted a bit with BF to see how the baseball game went last night. He said they had a good time, but did not talk much about H and mine's R. They just enjoyed the game together. I feel like BF is can read H pretty well. But I don't know if he got any additional insight. But he said that H did NOT bring up a D with me again. So that's improvement I suppose.
And H did come home between work and the game to tend to the dogs. So I'm developing a bit more trust in that he will do what he says he will do.
H did sleep rather close to me last night. Even held my hand for a brief second. Our bodies touched several times and he didn't hug his side of the bed to avoid me. He seems to be getting less weird when he first wakes up too (he's most awkward around me first thing in the morning and when he first comes home from work).
Now that he's actually home I've been implementing the "act as if" concept. I think it's working. He usually warms and has a real conversation with me and doesn't get irritated. I doubt he's recognizing this behavior change, but I am.
We might be going out with recently lost other BF of his (a topic which he will not talk about how much it affects him. He feels very abandonded by this friend, which he has said... once) tomorrow night. Lost BF has his first serious real girlfriend, and we have yet to meet her (this is mostly why he's recently fallen off the map). I figure if H was "done" he wouldn't invite me out to see Lost BF and new girlfriend.
