bolt tightening

[MHL]

How is it that you can get over the hurt of being betrayed?

TIME, it takes time and you can get over it but you can not see how right now........it is too fresh, too new.

You will learn to "Detach" from what she is doing.

I do not know if Cadet has posted to you yet but he usually includes a link to the Lance Armstrong site which has a great article on "detachment".

If the link is not somewhere here due to board policies on posting other copyrighted material it is easily found online.

Lance Armstrong was able to "detach" himself from his situation of having testicular cancer in order to function in day to day life. He could not stop it nor make the cancer "go away" but he managed to "detach" from the harsh reality of his situation in order to MOVE forward with his LIFE.

You can not stop your W from doing what she is doing but you can function and function well at that despite the pain you are in. Go check out the site, it is process, a mental gymnastics of sorts, no tricks just getting to a place where you can accept the situation at hand.

It does take TIME.......

I only want to talk to my girls but they always tell me when their mommy is out on a date with the OM. I would rather not know and let myself heal that way. But when it comes up, all I get is hurt.

any suggestions?

They are hurting too, and in a way they are looking to you for advice. They are in the exact same place really. They want their MOM to stop what she is doing.

This is your opportunity to show them your strength and set the example for them early in life.

BTW, my daughter has learned this lesson well.....

That is the lesson of.......WE CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO US.

I do not want to put words in your mouth but feel free to use something like this when they tell you she is out on a date with OM.

I know it bothers you when Mommy goes out with OM, it bothers me too. However we can not control what Mommy does or anyone else for that matter even when it is hurting us. I also know that your Mommy loves you very much and would never intentionally hurt you but right now Mommy is probably hurting too and does not realize that what she is doing is hurting us. Lets try to do something else right now that will take minds off of it because thinking about it just makes you sad.

This is really a statement to yourself Bolt, your daughters have to do the same thing you do. In DR it says "Fake it until you Make it"........well this is it.

If you are not motivated to do it for yourself then at least get motivated to do it for your children.

It seems like I'm fine when I don't talk to her and I don't hear about her. Am I hiding from the truth?

No you are not hiding from it.

You only have to stick your hand in the flame once to realize it hurts, you certainly don't have to force yourself to do it again to remind yourself that it still hurts.

This is why we preach that "snooping" is unhealthy.

Hang in there.

Happy Little Friday

Cheers