Maybe you should tell your girls that you would rather not know when mom is out with OM.
It is hard because you want them to know that they can tell you anything, but you also have to heal.
Have you been betrayed?
Yes.
However it is important that you find a way that allows you to recognize that she is living her life, for her, and that is a good thing...
Even if it isn't how you wanted her to live it...
Her choices, are hers. Whether you agree with them, or like them, or think she is nuts...
They are her choices. You have to accept that.
To try to do anything to make them different, would be controlling.
We CAN NOT control what other people do. No matter how much we might want to or how bad we think their choices are.
How do you not feel betrayed...
You learn to accept that people make their choices. Sometimes they align with ours, sometimes they don't.
When they don't, we do what we need to, to not be affected by them.
Sometimes in life, people do things that hurt others. That break trusts. Things that have the potential to destroy relationships. Any kind of relationships.
What was the intention behind those actions?
Do you believe that she had some diabolical plan to destroy you?
Yes, there are people out there who do do things to intentionally cause another pain...
I believe they are in the minority. Most people, either don't think others will be hurt, or they are so damaged that they just get to a point where they have to follow their own path...
When we can realize that the intention behind actions is not cruelty, we can begin to forgive...
When we can accept that people's paths change, that we all have our own journey's to walk, we can begin to detatch...
As we forgive and detatch, we heal...
As we heal, we begin to slowly live, to move forward, and one day, we find that we have reached the other shore...
It takes time. It takes actions. It takes work.
It is worth it.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
