Good morning all - drinking my coffee and time to post positives - Seems that C's sister if visiting from out of town and staying with C. This is taking up all of her time and I did not expect any contact from C yesterday. Also do not expect any contact today so it is time to review my past positives - I feel that I have come a long way and that I am definitely a person worthy of someone's love. I WILL be ok this year and it will be a great year. Something else has occured that has really boosted my PMA a bunch, but I am not ready to post it yet.
Odga, I can feel the your PMA's!! I feel so fortunate and honored being in the midst of someone like you that affirms hope and love of life! You are a blessing!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
had no contact with C yesterday (sis is still in town with her and taking up all her time plus she was going to exchange gifts with other family). Yesterday was a beautiful day so I took an afternoon road trip and just listened to my radio and enjoyed the day - While I really want to get back with C (and I think that will happen) I know that I don't need her to be happy.
However I did just order some flowers for her to be delivered on 12/30 for a new years wish. All women like to get flowers.
As usual doing a great job and slowly breaking through Cindy's defenses... I wonder how long before it is proper to remarry your ex-H, must be in some unwritten Southern code of conduct...
BTW, if you have a minute, could you please check out Khaib in Newcomers? She just got a divorce and is trying to reconnect with her H... You are the local expert in that
Isn't it great news about TonyP?
Have a great day! And take C and her sister out for a play or something! Nothing bad in getting some allies in the family
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I called C and asked if it would be ok to bring over my boxed tree and decorations to store in the shed behind her house with the rest of my stuff and she said to come over around 3:30 or so. Well when I got there I was stiff from driving over. (I have just started working out again with a personal trainer and he worked my legs really good. When I sit for awhile and then try to walk it is very painful and takes a little bit to stretch my calf muscles out so I can walk halfway normal)
She wondered about the way I was walking until I told her about working out and my sore muscles. She found it hard to keep from laughing - I told her to go ahead and laugh that it was funny. She said but I know it hurts. I said you are right - it hurts like H*** but it is still funny.
I got my stuff loaded into the shed and we sat down in the living room for a few and talked and exchanged a few last gifts from Christmas. She had a Hickory farms gift pack and we opened it and had fun making the little cracker things.
we then went back to the living room. Seems that her belly button barbell loss the end ball and fell out last week. When she tried to put another one in the hole had partly closed up. Well she wanted me to help put the new one in and it took a little gentle persuasion to get it in. It left her a little sore. While I was doing the pushing and shoving thing she hit me with something out of the blue. She told me that she was going to get better and that she was going to start seeing a counselor. I told her that I also wanted to start seeing a counselor close by rather than continue to do the telephone consultation and that if she had a good one that I might want to use the same counselor. Well she does not even know of one but would be open to using the same one I use and also using a Solution Focused Therapy relationship counselor. So now I need to find one in this area.
After the belly button thing was pushed back into place she suggested sharing a steak at Outbacks and then she suggested that when we get back I hop into the hot tub to soak my legs. (every time I would get up and start moving she and I would both laugh at my walk.) Well we had a great time at Outbacks. There was a 20 minute wait so we just sat down at the bar and ate there. Different and fun thing to do.
When we got back home I hopped in the hot tub and she read a book (we both thought that with the pushing of the belly button ring and it kinda opening a new hole that there might be a greater chance of infection if she got in so I did it alone)
After the hot tub I sat down with her on the couch and we watched Emeil Live (does not seem to be much on lately - I have satellite with over 200 channels and she has well over 100 channels on her cable - so we both often end up watching Emeril) When the show ended I told her I was time for me to go home and she said that she would likely go right to bed when I left. I told her to have a good night sleep and to have sweet dreams. She said she would - that she would be dreaming about me.
All in all a great night - she told me when I left that she really enjoyed seeing me and that I looked great. Through out the night she gave me lots of hugs and kisses and she initialed most of them, and held all of them a long time. She also said she had her workout bag packed and was ready to meet me Tuesday am at the gym.
Wow - still realing from last night so many positives I don't know if I can remember them all so I will list some in no special order.
1. she said she wanted to start going to a counselor 2. when I left she said she would be dreaming of me 3. she got me some more pepper jelly (had to look at my first thread for this one "Divorce Pending 9/21)and we ate some on some toast with our Hickory Farms stuff yesterday afternoon. 4. I held off on hugging and kissing when I got there and let her make the first moves and she did several times and as the night progressed she seemed to hold the kisses and hugs so long I thought she would never let me go (which was fine with me) 5. really a great time with C - on top of lots of hugging and kissing, we had lots of laughing and kidding and snuggling (weather was warm enough for us to lay down together in our double hammock in the back yard for about 10 minutes and watch the high clouds drift by in front of a deep blue sky. 6. she trusted me enough to let me help her get her belly button ring back in. (I know that had to hurt)
Well folks - today I have to find a Solution Focused Therapist that has a commement to saving relationships for both of us to start going to.
another quick note - it seems that this site has lots of other things other than our BB - I found and article by Michele Choosing a Marital Therapist which has a Email link to Michele's office and they say they will help find a good therapist.
