I think you just out did yourself with this one. The funny thing about this place. The sitch can be so different. The goals for each of us so different. The problems in the M so different. And yet, good advice like this post is so useful to all of us. Tweak a word here, a slight change there, and bam. Speaks to all of us.
There are some very important parts of your post that, while not directed towards me, I will take to heart.
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IOW, it leads to MORE Conflict, not less. That's b/c the person is so conflict avoidant that they avoid working out even the most minor of uncomfortable things. Naturally Real issues get avoided like the plague, and do not magically go away by ignoring them. On the contrary, They fester & worsen....and blow up or create deep resentment that erodes trust, security and love. THE THING THEY FEAR THE MOST, THEY MAKE COME TRUE....
This is my W to a T. She would even admit this about herself. I am quite the opposite. So in our M, I would always want to try to fix what was wrong. W on the other hand would not want to address it. Ever ask her "what's wrong" and it would always be "nothing.". I have to admit, this would drive me up a wall sometimes. I would get MORE angry. We can't fix it if we don't address it!
She then explained her A and leaving the way it ends up. She said everything she held in finally burst. Her being an RN, used a pretty sick example of a Cyst that burst and no way of putting it back together.
Anyways, my point. Not addressing conflict DOES create bigger problems. 100% agree.
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Or at least act like one for the minutes you are around her
One more, this is so great . In some cases it really is just reality. While we work on ourselves, we ca at least show our absolute best for the time they see/talk to us. I have to admit, I have had to do this a lot.
Anyways, thanks again for the information you provide her. Like I said, while you might be responding to one persons sitch, there is great information in here for all of us.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
