We ended up talking tonight, I ended up backsliding some.
Most of all she is frustrated because she feels like I am still dragging my feet on the D (I am). She said she asked for it back in February, but there's little to show for it. She challenged me on if I would ever agree to a D. That's where I started backsliding. I ended up in a R talk.
I told her I was struggling with the whole D concept. I told her I don't believe it. I asked her what she though was best for our S. I even told her I loved her. I agreed with her that I didn't want to continue as we're going in the relationship as it stands right now. I told her I felt we needed to make changes in the relationship, that I couldn't just make changes to please her. I mentioned our MC was a series of fighting fires rather than having a plan, and she agreed with that. She said she just doesn't have the energy to put into the R. I did tell her I wanted her to find her real person. I told her I am determined to emerge from this the better man and I hope and pray she will emerge the better woman, regardless of the outcome.
There. I said it. I fessed up. I shouldn't have gotten on a R discussion but I did. It's done.
