Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

Journaling:
Literally woke up with H standing next to my bed at 7am. H said he had to stop by to pick up some device for work. H said that he had a 1:00am and then a 4:00 call and only had a few hours sleep and he is so frustrated with work. H said he wanted to wish me luck today with my procedure and I said thanks and he left. Came downstairs to see he text at 6:35 saying he was on his way over to pick something up. I am really bothered that he did that and yet it was nice seeing him first thing.

Went to doctors to get procedure done to test precancer cells and got a copy of the lab report that scared me. Got to the car after and text H. 5 minutes later get text back saying: In a meeting..call you later. OMG!!! So I text back: Its ok. Focus on work. CU tonite. And had no response. Why on earth would I want to be with someone that doesn’t consider even another friends painful time important? This should be an answer in itself. Even better..I get a text an hour later asking if its raining so I said yes. Cant ask about my testing issue but let’s ask about rain for softball??? D2 came home said she had a flat tire and called H for 5 minutes. She said he had people in the background and he really couldn’t help her. Then H text me saying he is slammed at work. H comes by at 5:35 without warning for softball. Tells D3 to get ready and asks where is my car, said with D2 and H checks the tire. I get D3 ready. H comes back in and said what happened at the dr today? I start to tell him and he decided to walk into the bathroom in the midst of talking. So I stop talking and say I’ll tell you when you are out. He comes out and goes to the garage door. I said “ok, guess I am not telling you the rest” He said” oh sorry” and I said “its ok never mind”. He said”What did they say?” and I said” its no big deal just go ahead and get to softball” in a pleasant tone and he knew cause I can tell he was frustrated and knew he was wrong.

After softball, H came in and said he fixed D2 tire and got her gas. He said he may try to get out a little early to cut the grass again tomorrow so I said ok. And then he left.

I just don't get this. How can someone be so hot and cold? This tornado makes me crazy. I think the only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I have been journaling my WAS incident since January on my computer.


H:41
W:44
D1:18
D2:16
S:12
D3:7
T:20
M:18
Bomb:1/5/11
Sep:2/18/11
No D filed yet; just threats

“It is what YOU make it”!