All's well that ends . . . . . .?

[irishblessings]

Punkin,
I'm sorry for this difficult time. It's interesting this question about happiness. I wonder it myself.
The upcoming court date is surely causing you more distress - I agree with Brooklyn - take care of yourself - extreme self-care for awhile.
IB

[beatrice]

Punkin, he almost certainly will not be happy . . . . . that is not a wish, but a strong likelihood. A good friend of mine's first h had a MLC many years ago [15 years ago, only no-one recognised it at the time] He was in his forties. He married the OW only about a year ago, so he could take her to his daughter's wedding. They are not and have never been happy together, They quarrel constantly and cheat on each other. He looks much older than he is, and his r with his kids is one of wary tolerance and financial exploitation on their part. His wife on the other hand had a very rough few years, bringing up her kids alone, and dealing with on-going cr*p from him and particularly ow, who is nutso, but later met and married another man who is wonderful. She looks about 10 years younger than her bio age, and has a great life. Because her second h's divorce was genuinely amicable [no other person involved, and he still does all first wife's diy!], he has a good r with his kids, and my friend gets on well with his first wife, and his kids.

As to reversing a vasectomy - technically possible, but not easy and not a great success rate, as I understand it. It is also very expensive, and probably not covered by most health care plans. So there you go

[seeking answers]

Punkin,

I wish I had some words of comfort for you. I'm going through the same feelings you are with the D being on the table.

My 29th wedding anniversary is on Sunday, and I'm sure that is adding to the sadness as it most likely is my last married to H.

Just as all the other feelings and emotions we have and have had, these will fade too. We will get to the other side of this Punkin and we will have happy lives if we choose to.

Hang in there sweet lady. Know that we'll be here for you and understand.

(((Hugs)))

[punkin]

Thanks everyone for your wise and kind thoughts. I HATE to Whine, but everynow and then you've had to much Wine not to Whine. Cheese, anyone? I usually drink Bloody Mary's through the storms,but was out of mix. LOL

I really am trying to be brave and hold my head up high through this thing. I want to remember and focus on the all the bad things, and the good things seem to keep intruding into my thoughts, making me sad and miss him.

Long story short, Thank you all for being there for my 'Dark night of the soul'. May that be my last for a while.

((Hugs)) to everyone.

[job]

Punkin,
You were not rude, you asked a very simple question and one that I could answer for you. Happiness will come in very wee steps as you go through the divorce process. No one is "happy" all of the time, no matter if there is a crisis or not. However, am I happy w/my life as it is now, I can honestly say yes. Sure, we all had good marriages and they had good days and bad days, but life has a way of changing things for us and we have to learn to accept where we are right this minute.

I, as well as the others know, you do not wish your h ill will. Whether he's happy or not, time will tell. I honestly do think that if my xh where truly happy in his new life w/his now married to HO, I wouldn't get so many odd phone calls before holidays, new mail addressed to him at my residence and things moved around in my yard. People who are happy don't do things such as this. They are too busy living their lives and enjoying themselves. Your h will take some time to discover that life isn't what he thought it would be. The euphoria of the divorce will keep him on a high for about 6 months and then life will nicely smack him in the face w/reminders of how it's going to be day in and day out.

As for you, you have already had a lot of things "smack you in the face". You will go on w/your life and you will learn to carve out a new and exciting one...it just takes time. Give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself. You are going to have good and bad days...you are human. Okay?

[punkin]

Thanks Snodderly,

Well, the appointment with the L is over. He says this has been one of the most difficult cases he has ever had to deal with, but he still seems confident. He did warn me that as Arkansas is not a no-fault state, my H will, as the Plaintiff in this case, have to take the stand and say that I have made his life intolerable somehow. My L is so cute! He's keeps thinking I'm the weeping woman type. H has said far worse to me over the past year.

There is a little devil on my shoulder that says next Tuesday night, the day before court, while he is psyching himself up for the next day, I will slip him a little Email that says only "When you take the stand tomorrow and say how I made your life miserable, please have the common courtesy to look me in the eye." That ought to blow his psyche all over the place. At this point, what's a little nudge over the edge?

All appears to be going as well as can be expected. This time next week, I'll be a single woman again. I remember Snodderly, baby steps to happiness. One at a time.

[dl443322]

You crack me up, Punkin!

While I know that this is a very hard thing to have to go through, I also know without a doubt that you will be fine.

Be kind to yourself right now. Dont worry about anything else right now, just get through this part.

You will be in my prayers, my friend.

[BeingMe]

So funny!

[yellowrose]

Punkin

You sound so much like me!! I had to laugh....

Y

[Mila]

Punkin - I like that mischievous little guy sitting on you shoulder...I think that you should do it...what the heck...even if it does nothing more than make you feel better. With your spunk and zest for life...I know that you will be OK no matter what happens in that courtroom...you are one strong lady.

Mega hugs to you (((((punkin)))))