Yeah I'm going to say that while all the *facts* are there, the intentions were not there for a MLC. He would have been open to me going with him on all his activities and I think he wanted me to be more interested. I was trying but I guess it wasn't enough.
We started crossfit classes together last year but I tore my ACL at a wedding. I got back into working out with a personal trainer so I could rehab my knee and get in shape - he joined that personal trainer the morning of the day he dropped the D bomb. We were going to start working out there together. The weather was starting to get nicer and it was almost hiking season - I don't like to hike when there is snow (plus the knee isn't terribly stable when slipping).
I guess all of this just came "too late" in his opinion.
So that's basically a little of Variety, Growth and Significance for him. Then add a little loss of Connection/Love and he's out the door.
I get that all this happened and I wish it would have all gone differently but the real frustrating part of this sitch (and I'm sure most everyone's) is that he left without trying to work it out. Did he communicate that he wanted me to get in better shape? Yes. Did he communicate that he wanted me to do more activities with him? Yes. Did we know we were losing some of the closeness we had? Yes. Did I know it was to the point of a full on D? No.
It's not like I ignored all of this communication - I was taking steps in this direction just not very quickly. It doesn't take a D to make me listen to my H but it takes a more serious type of communication for me to understand the importance or gravity of the requests/sitch.
Also, when leaving he cited the loss of affection between us, not all of these other things although perhaps it contributed to some extent. He didn't communicate for a year and half any of this.
