my h and son gave me necklace

[MrBond]

Hi rysmom,

I have been following your story for the past few posts but chose not to respond. I wanted to see what you would do.

It's great that he's been treating you nicer, HOWEVER, what's more important is how YOU feel. Do you still have the anger and a judgemental attitude towards him and his decisions?

He could be doing things nicer for you out of pity or he could be doing them as a peace offering. Whatever the reason, if your attitude about his choices don't change, he will be afraid to come back if he wants to.

You mentioned about how could he be so careless to buy an expensive car rather than spending it on your son, about how the OW is more outgoing than you are and that you "can't" be like that.

Have you started rebuilding your self-esteem? That is the number one priority regardless of his decision. If you don't get yourself strong, and can honestly forgive him and be compassionate towards him your R will not heal.

I asked you before what reason would he want to come back to YOU. A real reason that doesn't include your son or shared history. Now at this very moment, if he came back, would you say you are a changed woman or would you be resentful towards him? Be honest.

If you feel that you are strong enough, then call him and ask him for coffee or something small. However I don't think you're at that point yet.