I wish I had some words of comfort for you. I'm going through the same feelings you are with the D being on the table.
My 29th wedding anniversary is on Sunday, and I'm sure that is adding to the sadness as it most likely is my last married to H.
Just as all the other feelings and emotions we have and have had, these will fade too. We will get to the other side of this Punkin and we will have happy lives if we choose to.
Hang in there sweet lady. Know that we'll be here for you and understand.