Good, this is the place to vent! I know the legal stuff is tough. And I don't think he "picked a good one". It's L's job to get this done and it doesn't sound like she'll do that at all.
Stay strong, keep GAL! You never know what's really happening! For a great example of that, hop on over to my thread.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Are you sure all our H's don't have the same lawyer? My H's is notorius for showing up at court unprepared, making outrageous demands, and his questions wander off into the unknown until the judge asked him what is his point?
And nobody, I repeat NOBODY is tired of hearing you. That is what we are all here for, to help each other over the rough patches. If it was as simple as all that, you could just take a pill and move on. It's much, much more and both mental and physical. Not to make light of anyone's Depression; it is a serious problem, but the toll that the end of a marriage takes is horrifying.
Blame? My H blames me if the sun doesn't shine. I've pretty much made my peace with there is nothing I can do about that.
You will too. Hang in there. ((HUGS))
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
Thanks so much Jon, Creed, and Punkin. My problem is I don't want the D at all. But I had to answer to H's lawyer's proposal.
H was just talking about coming home at the end of Jan., then I guess his family got to him and 2 days later I got a text saying the D will not be put on hold, the house is to be sold, it's over. And this is all when I contacted his family by letter and was overly nice, so much that it would make you gag. I did nothing wrong to any of them, they did wrong to me many years ago and I still said nothing but H was so mad he actually ran out of the house straight to his mother's and told her off. They didn't speak for over 12 years and then he made up with them while we were separated. Well, guess what....they are blaming me for him not speaking to them for all of that time.
Over the years I told H he should make up with his mother cause life is too short but he wanted nothing to do with it. So his sister responded through FB (which I didn't know you could do if you weren't friends with that person) and gave it to me big time. Blamed me for keeping him away from them and no matter what I did or said it didn't matter to her. His mother and sister are very very close and always treated the women in the brothers lives like this, nice to their faces and then when they would leave do nothing but talk bad about them.
Someone said, I think it was Punkin, not sure but that H would get tired of them controlling him but I guess not. Still haven't heard a word from him and Easter is coming. I just hope and pray he contacts our D14 at least. I really don't know what to think. Also her Confirmation in church is next Saturday and she did send him a short note saying that she knows they have been fighting lately but she doesn't want him to ever miss anything big in her life again and hopes that he comes. Told him she loves him but never heard back.
He did tell me on the phone when I fully went against DB by calling him at work crying when I received the letter from his lawyer that he wanted the D matter settled.
Just don't get how you go from coming home to back to D again in over 2 months. If you go back and read my thread I believe I posted our conversation on here.
Jon, I posted on your thread. I'm so happy for you. But I don't see any movement at all in my case. There is NC at all. At least you and your W are speaking every night.
That's where I get confused...H claims he isn't with anyone and likes being alone (he hates being alone), I don't know why he told me that, I didn't ask. Then when I told him that a piece of paper doesn't change a person's feelings about the other person he went completely silent. So I have no clue to where I stand now. I'm guessing a D.
I can't stand to say it or even write it because I get so depressed after all of this time. Maybe because we would get along for a while during the past 2 years and then fight and back and forth. ML and see each other every couple of months and that just made it worse on me. I'm still standing but I don't know if God is going to reconcile us or not.
Well, the next 2 weekends should be a big downer just like Easter. H didn't even call our D14 on Easter, her Confirmation is this Saturday, and the following weekend is Mother's Day and our Anniversary. I never thought he would not call her on a holiday.
Very depressed. D14 has a counseling appt. today with her new C. Hope it helps her.
My H didn't call D16 on Easter either, though she acts like it doesn't matter, but it is the first holiday he totally ignored. Thursday is her confirmation and I am not even sure if he is showing up. I know his parents are coming, but he hasn't said a thing about whether he is coming or not. It totally [censored] for the kids.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
I am reaching out to see if anyone has a vanisher MLCer. I am on another board and there was mention of a person here that reconciled with her vanisher. Trying to find if she is still around : ImLin or Dropout . If anyone knows who I am asking about please let me know.
Hi lisa, I haven't seen anyone with that name. They might have changed it though.
Hang in there GF! Find ways to make the next two weekends awesome regardless of what he does.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Hi, don't know if you remember reading rcr's posts - she designated MLCers as Drop ins [the ones' who stay around constantly and want to be friends] Droplets, who make sporadic contact, and Drop-outs who largely vanish from our lives.
I think Imlin has a permanent thread on the first MLC page What I learned from my h's MLC
It seems that all types of MLcer can return, but by the time they might want to think about it, mostly we have moved on - as you know this process takes a very very long time for most of these people to work through, if they ever have the courage and honesty to deal with their issues after they become aware of the devastation they have caused. I used to be sad I had mostly a vanisher [occasionally popped up to hurl abuse] but now I am glad, I think it helps us to heal not to see them or hear from them all the time.
So sorry about your D's father's inconsiderate and selfish actions. Maybe things will turn around and he will be there for her Confirmation this weekend. My rule is: Always be prepared for the worst, than anything else is better when it happens. Even if he sends her a gift, it would be better than nothing, for her sake.
Is your H religious? I've found most men who are not don't have any realization of Easter. Never notice the bunnies and chocolates and baskets when they walk through a Wal-Mart. DUH!
Yes, another Mother's Day without a gift from my H. I'll have to buy my own fishing tackle.
So plan something, just you and the kids to go out and enjoy your special day.
