You care for them, you love them unconditionally, but you're not invested in what they do, what they think,what they feel.
You're there to listen, empathise and affirm if they want that. Your focus is on your life and well being though.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
W was very distant,no calls no texts till2 today. Then she called me 4-5 times in a row to talk about ostesible things. she came home and I was out on the veranda reading. W spent times w kids and I made her dinner and a cup of camomile tea for sleep she has been more receptive to me as I have been her friend. Is now as always sleeping downstairs on the couch asking if she can sleep upstairs in the bed this week...do I let her W was the one who abandoned the martial bed I dont think I should leave (foam) just me and the jack russel......?
spent some time today at W's baquet for school was wery sad and she was real distant now at friends house and we are socializing but i am at wits end up and down
been 2 days since I posted,wife let me massage her feet sunday morning then I think she got nervous for letting her guard down and I stopped.Today W was cold and distant not alot of baby steps there.Behavior of the kids prompted a R talk and she said she would like to sleep upstairs in the bed for a couple of hours I responded that She made a choice to move to the couch over a month ago and that I felt that she abandoned our marital bed so no I wasnt going to leave it. Im pretty much fed up with being I nice guy even my kids have been using this against me. I told wife she had become the teflon don no accountability sticks on her while my kids rail me for sitting a nd drinking a beer. W goes out all the time yet shes the golden child here WTF!!!
Im totally confused ,could use some help, one minute I see small steps and a day or two later its back to square one.
What was your W's childhood like? Any major traumatic events or abuse of any type?
Has anything major happened in your lives in the last 12 to 18 months?
MLCers are either not aware of hurting their loved ones or just don't care because everything is all about them. They are selfish to the extreme.
There are a lot of examples of the spouse waking up. If your W is in MLC just don't expect her to wake up soon. We're talking months and in many cases, years. The goal is to outlast the MLC if you want to.
If you want to come over to the MLC board, you just do what you did here, and post a new topic.
seeking,W childhood was a clusterF. father was mentally ill and died at 47 in 1995 when I met her. raised by paternal grand parents who took custody of her when she was 1 yr old. Biological mother was a prostitute. She was despised by youngest aunt for being the new baby in the house. Oldest aunt was not around but youngest uncle was there for her. Grandfather parapalegic in a chair till he died in 2001. Oldest aunt divorced had she had sex with aunts husband before they were divorced. we married in 95 and in 2002 she separated from me while I was in south deckota doing geological field work was homeless for a time and got back together 7 months later.
Now wife is prowling bars "fishing" almost every night. is perrimenopausal and has a thyroid problem. Just last night after one of her excusions she leveled me with the news she got an apartment across tomn and is moving there in 2 weeks..
W kids I am extremely devestated and cannot function. Dont know how to float the rent we are in now w what I make,very stressed out.
last night did say that she loved me but had harboured resentment from the beginning and thinks that she will soon date but is soured to another man living with her. My kids are devestated. She rented an apartment before she landed a job. Just graduated with a MSW from UMAINE Orono. But took on two more summer courses to get the money to get away.
Told me she will help me anyway she can to float the house I refuse to leave. But is moving without a job just using my S14 as he gets SSI. Total impulse move. Says she hates living in purgatory. I thought like An idiot that I had time (this summer) to DB my ass off but this is not the case.
She still hasn't filed yet.After a substantial amount of money from student loans received.But is willing to fix my postal vehicle and pay rent here for 2 months. Middle daughter seems to think she is leaving the door open a crack.Yet when she told kids today her plans they were distraught. Didnt seem to phase her at all. I need input please!
M48 W 43 S14 S11 DD3 Bomb 3/23/11 No papers filed yet
