Groundhog Day

[FooFighter999]

Well, not a good weekend. Back in my digs and feeling very low once more. I really thought that I had made so much progress with the detachment but as soon as I set eyes on my W all the old feelings & yearning began again.
To my credit however I did not let any of those feelings show through so in that respect there was no backsliding.

When we were alone, my W as ever brought up R talk, and as ever I was more than willing to indulge her. Again, I did everything right - Validate, Validate, Validate, Agree, Agree, Agree. There were tears on her part during the conversation, and I know that she still feels angry that I did not do enough to save our relationship when I had the chance. I believe that she also feels a great sense of guilt & empathy for the pain that I am going through.
What does worry me though is that during the discussions she repeatedly told me how pleased she was that I have moved on from 'us' and that I was now able to see a future for myself without her - ( which I can't, all I have done is accept that I can't change the way she feels about me )
She also admitted that she has now met two soul mates - one of whom I suspect is the OM - and this really does hurt like a kick in the teeth.
On both days that I was at home she left to go out with friends and the first night she did not return home at all. She said she fell asleep. I am sure that on at least one occasion she will have been with the OM.

When I'm not there, I can deal with it and as time goes on with me not seeing her the pain decreases. When I go to visit though it really sends me back down to rock bottom again. Its like the snakes & ladders game where you get all the way to 99 and you land on the big one that sends you all the way back to the beginning again.

Words of wisdom and encouragement would be gladly received.

ps I still have not replied to her earlier 'Dear John' email. I think that there is potentially some value in waiting for a particularly desperate / more opportune moment.

FF999