Could she be suicidal? Not to be extreme, but "all over in a month" can mean something else too. From a mental health aspect, I said something like, look I don't like the idea of being medicated either, but wouldn't think less of you for following Dr's suggestions. Do what you need to do to be healthy. H decided not to, but my offering that support was helpful, I think. He was feeling weak and stupid and helpless - I didn't judge, guilt, or boss him around. Being told he had a problem/talking to Dr really forced some emotions out. I wonder if your wife is in the same boat.
For #2, just keep in mind that saying no to settling is different from totally rejecting someone. I think it's fair to say you wouldn't be ready for her to just move back in, but what would work for you? Sparks was doing some neat things with family dinners, etc.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
