It took a long time for me to decide and find the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. And I expected bumps and grinds. I was finally ready for "the ride".
There are no less than 3 people in my life whom I still think about. That I still wonder... what if I had been with them. What if I had stepped up to the plate for them. I still have the potential to have "those feelings" for them, again.
Of those, one particular woman sticks out in my mind and how it relates to my sitch. I loved her. I truly loved her. Yet we were never more than friends. Finally, after knowing her for about 5 years, I finally could not take it. I let her know my feelings... and she has not talked to me, since. I have made attempts to contact her a couple times over the past 20 years, but never any response. I finally moved on. Finally, after 10 years, decided that I needed to move on... It was very, very difficult. And yet, she ultimately and completely rejected me.
I feel like the path I'm on now, leads to the same place. It may take another 10 years from now to get to that place where I finally make the decision to move on from MY feelings for a person who does not share those feelings. Who has given me the ultimate rejection.
I can only say, I do... understand how it feels to not want to let go. I know how long a person can hold on to something. I know I could have held onto it longer. I know I still do. And life goes on...
