Is there an om? How do you progress

[Busting Mode]

Facing,

If she is having an affair, I STRONGLY recommend you consider filing for divorce yourself as soon as possible.


[edited by dbmod to add note: Busting: This is NOT what we do here. We help folks try to save their marriages. Infidelity, while it can feel devastating does NOT have to equal the end of the marriage.]


What I have learned is that what makes things workable is integrity. Once integrity is gone things become unworkable. Restoring integrity with yourself gives you workability.

I know my wife is in mid-life crisis and wants to "experiment" for awhile having fun (sex) and being with other men. In her world, I don't think she could respect herself doing it within the confines of our marriage, so she opted out.

I don't think she would have respected herself or me if she secretly slept with other men, so she brought it out into the open and that is something I do not like but at least I have accepted it which allows us to remain friends and keeps the possibility of reconciliation open in the future.

You might be surprised how quickly your wife turns if you initiate the proceedings on your own, or you may even surprise yourself with the amount of power, freedom, dignity and self-respect you gain.

I feel for you, my friend. The pain of my (now ex) wife having sex with another man is intense beyond belief. I do my best to put it into a context that I can work with and makes me feel better about myself.




[edited by dbmod to add NOTE to Facing and others: This advice goes against db principes and may cause the end of your marriage.]