I haven't posted much because there hasn't been anything new with H until today.
I've been doing okay. I read a lot of the advice here and try to apply it to myself. I'm working on "this didn't happen to me...it happened for me". I am doing pretty well. I'm focusing on getting my life back. I also like the advice of be a person anyone would be crazy to leave (or similar advice) and I'm working on that too. I'm staying busy and working out and taking care of myself. There's a spring in my step and confidence I was lacking before the bomb.
H texted me tonight with "Watcha doing?" I waited not sure if I should respond or not (thought about how my "guessing" was altering a normal response as noted above) and responded 10 minutes later with "laundry" he asked if he could call and I said yes. He asked how I'm doing and I said "good - actually very well" He talked about SS18 quite a bit.
He said he has mail for me and I said I have mail for him. He said his friend can help him move a fridge to swap out an old one I have next week and asked if I'd be around or traveling. I said I'd be home. I asked if he has SS12 this weekend and he said yes. I asked if I could see him and he said he doesn't know what he'll have going on this weekend. I didn't push. He ended the call saying he was just calling because we hadn't talked in a while. I said goodbye and that was it. Weird.
Of course I'm trying to figure out what he really wanted. Is he going to forego getting D paperwork from me and have me served? Its so weird that he called and didn't mention anything about D. The mind reading has to stop when I finish this post so I can just relax and go to sleep.
That's about it. I pray for a sign but I also know I'm not ready to move on. I need to let go and focus on myself but as far as a relationship with anyone I'm not ready. I'm getting me back one day at a time.
