MLC Purgatory

[meganna]

So I haven't posted in a while. Had pneumonia and been busy with family stuff. Today's my youngest D's 3rd birthday. Had a small celebration with H, his parents and sister. H didn't look at me once all night. He's still wearing his wedding ring. We don't communicate much at all. I am still angry with him for hurting the kids so much, but to me he is a complete stranger and I don't miss him. At all. At this point I don't want to rock the boat because he's supporting us financially, and I'd like to drag that out as long as possible so I don't have to find full time work and hurt the kids further by turning their entire world upside down. I honestly think this will ultimately end in D, but as long as he continues to be this stranger to me, the more ok I am with that being the end result. I think I have detached, but not lovingly.

I started reading "Awakening at Midlife"- what a great book! It totally fits H. Especially talking about how people avoid looking within by always "doing"- H couldn't even sit at the table and eat a sandwich without listening to the radio and reading newspaper or a magazine. He was always either sleeping or "doing." I sometimes wondered if he had ADD/ADHD! I told my therapist about the book and she said she'd read it and recommend it to H's therapist.

Also found out today that a co-worker who fills in at our clinic periodically also went through MLC with her H about 15 years ago. He bought a motorcycle, got a girlfriend, moved out for about a year, then returned, went to lots of MC, and she says it is now better than ever. It will never cease to amaze me how common MLC is, and how nobody really talks about it until it happens to them. Maybe if it were talked about more it wouldn't have to be so devastating.