Alright time to answer some long asked questions.

GAL: I read, play a collectible card game at the tournament level, play video games, work out, and some basic home improvement. Yep that's it. No skydiving, no scuba, dance lessons, or martial arts. Nothing cool or interesting is available here. This is a small military town. Most get drunk and in trouble, or have kids so that they have something to do. (Not saying having kids is bad, but being young and childless is not fun here.) Trust me I have looked for GAL activities! In fact I am bored out of my mind right now. Heck lurking these boards counts as GAL in my book. We have a lot of chain restaurants, one movie theather, one hastings, and a crummy mall. To make things worse I got assigned here for six months, so no time to form deep friendships. I have one month and half left so doing things like signing up for guitar lessons seems pointless. If I could find guitar lessons. Now there is a big city 1.5 hours from here but with gas prices it seems almost hopeless to go unless a whole day trip is planned. If that is the case then I'd rather take my W with me.

My W says she has it worse since I at least can distract myself with work for about 8 hours a day. I am not making excuses for her, but it does not surprise me that she is bored out of her mind, when I am bored too!. She sees no point in doing school, or seeking a job, since we will be moving AGAIN in less than 2 months. So yeah she feels trapped, and in a way I don't blame her. Not making excuses just validating. I mean I feel trapped too!

Am I responsible for her entertainment? No, but I understand her situation, and want to help.

Now about that concert..... The original plan months ago was to go together. Then I could not get off from work. She seemed down, I know she is going nuts here so I told her she could go on her own. She at first tried saying she couldn't but I insisted. Now why five days? Well 1 to get there, 1 for concert, 1 to travel to second city, 1 for second concert, and 1 to travel back. Could she have met up someone there? yeah, could she meet someone new there? yeah. Could she cheat on me with the band? Yeah... but when am I going to start trusting her? One of my 180's and she told me this one were my jealousy problems. I had a hard time letting her go out with friends she knew from high school. I would constantly call, and text, and get moody. I'm having trouble right now! I dont want that to be me, I am tired of living paranoid, needy, and all around miserable. I want to get through this. You're right 25yrs she very well could be, but getting worried sick will not help my situation, and confronting her as soon as she gets back will not make me look any more trusting, independent, and strong. I will only seem weak, needy, and desperate. Besides she promised that if she ever did something she'd tell me. If she hasn't come clean yet, why would she come clean now? Especially if I interrogate her as soon as she gets back. I can't let negative ideas like that destroy me, especially if I can't prove them. Trust is all I can do, until she proves otherwise. Her actions could be seen as suspicious, but they do not mean she is guilty.

Am I living in denial? No, just accepting that I can't control her. It sure takes a load of my back to do that laugh All I know is that I have done my best to hopefully give her a strong enough foundation to hopefully fight off temptation if it rears its ugly head.

I have received a bit of advice saying not to over analyze things....worrying about this concert would be over analyzing. Especially since it would stress me soooo much.

Besides her being gone for 5 days gives me some time to GAL on my own, and for her to miss me. I am proud of having kept contact to a minimum so far.

As for your concerns about whether a happy marriage would allow this, yeah most likely not. Remember this though we as of this moment do not have a happy marriage. We had a 2 week separation, we actually filed, we had the ugly fights, the pleading, the begging, and even one instance of me over drinking. (At home of course, I still have a career to think about) Never doing that again....
Thanks to the advice of a friend, who almost went through a divorce too I started GAL, 180's, and even learned how to manage her episodes. She actually came back thanks to the advice I got from this friend. I found DB after I decided to get help from books. Imagine how surprised I was when I found out the changes I was making are the DB basics! So yes my wife is WAW, and I have learned from DB and this forum that means expect some pretty outrageous behaviors, and statements. (Believe nothing she says, 50% of what she does). I also know that despite her being back as Young at heart said, I am being tested. Some of this behavior in my opinion are just more tests, to see if I lose my temper, to see if I lose my self respect, to see if I get overbearingly jealous again, and to see if I cave in again. I understand this and as a DBing husband I accept this. As I mentioned before we are not piecing yet. Piecing to me means that both parties have decided that hard work is necessary because the marriage is SO WORTH it. We are not there yet, she has seen my positive changes. I know she is holding out to see if I go back to my old ways. All I can do is make everyday a little bit better, and slowly win her love, affection, respect, but most important her confidence back. She needs to have confidence that this great new guy she is seeing is here to stay. I understand this will take time. Phew another long post!!