Lily, there are some nice pieces around this site on what detachment means, and I lack the time right now to go into it.
As far as seeing a L, good. For me, knowing my rights made me feel that I was not trapped into staying m, but ironically helped me feel "safe" in trying to save the m. I knew I wasn't making things worse for me or the kids, financially speaking. It was empowering also to know that no matter what happened, the kids and I would not be on the streets with nothing. Make sense?
And I'd suggest you stop asking him questions you really don't want the answers to...don't inflict pain on yourself; he's doing enough for now. No one says you must stop loving the person he is or once was. But you do have to survive, you have to maintain your dignity and self respect in order to be who you are AND in order to be an attractive person. I mean if you don't truly love and respect yourself, what does that tell your spouse about their feelings for you?
Check around the site for pieces on detachment. I think faithful H wrote or quoted one but there are several around the MWD site.
Good luck,
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
