Saturday was okay. Went biking for 2 hours. Had good workout. Then did yardwork. Talked with daughter in the evening and sent an email to wife with questions on the decree.
Sunday was okay until the evening when she calls. She wanted to know what my 'goals' toward the future were, in respect to raising daughter etc. I was not sure what she meant by goals. I lashed out saying i had no goals. That i am here because she put us here etc. Needless to say i brought up our R talk and again both went down the argument lane. She basically again brought out all my issues and how she was tired dealing with them and putting our daughter in the middle of it etc. By goals she meant to know if i was looking to fight her in court or be friends with her for daughter's sake. I told her that i did not want to drag this divorce to court. Then she kept telling me how much she is sacrificing. I really no longer wanted to fight her anymore. Then we ended the conversation...
I know it should not come as a shock, but every time we talk i have this imaginary conversation in my head where wife mentions as to how we should try again and i would jump up and go get my family. But everytime I just set myself up for failure. I guess it has not yet sunk in that this marriage is over. Yesterday she has made it even more clearer. She even said that she was ready to fight this out in the court and that is why she picked a good lawyer. Just hurts like hell that your mate is turning into this grotesque monster....
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
