Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

Mishka I understand where this is coming from. My brother and sister-in-law keep saying the same thing. The conversation about coming home early wasn't me giving him a choice I asked when is S coming home? (because when we change things H will many times forget) and that is when he said can I instead do 7 because of a migraine.

With S coming home, I didn't want him to come home, but I gave H the choice of what to do instead of me saying he can't come home. I understand and know I should be harder, but he puts S on the phone to talk to me instead of him talking to me without S knowing. I don't want to be the bad guy saying you have to stay. I remember when H left we went through probably 9 months to a year of S crying for H at times and me trying to talk to H and ask him to come over just to say hi or take S to spend time with him because S was crying for him (S couldn't talk to H like he does now), and H wouldn't answer or say no and I saw how hurt S was. I don't want S to feel I have abandoned him too. I know I have to get over it, and I am working on it slowly, but for 18 months I was all S had and I don't want him to feel that when he really wants me or needs me that I say no you have to stay with daddy.

I still understand and will work on it because H is getting credit for the extra nights and can't just shrug off everything on me because we are joint at least legally.