So, I guess I need some clarification then as to what detachment really means. I have read Divorce Remedy but not Divorce Busting. Do the two books offer different things? Apparently I am not "getting it". I understand the whole GAL but what are the guidelines per say of a detachment? Do I still talk to him first, or is it only if he talks to me? Do I say hello, goodbye, goodnight, etc to him first? Do I comletely ignore him unless I am spoken to? Do I turn down a chance to run and errand or grab a bite with him? If you could clue me in to some of the ways you detached that would be great and very helpful.
I guess when I say I won't change, it means I won't relinquish my belifs that I need to love unconditionally and allow him to get the better of me. I have certainly learned a great deal about myself and I feel that I have changed for the better, i.e. more patience, understanding,forgiveness, etc.
Maybe I am just getting caught up in the details too much but if you could clue me in to how you detached that would be great.
Lily
Lily,
Treat him as you would a roommate, or the mailman. Kind, courteous, upbeat . . . civil. But not like a husband, or even a best friend.
And when he flat-out lies to you, and you KNOW FOR A FACT he is lying, put your hand up in the "STOP" position and say "Please stop it. We both know you're lying to me right now, and it's incredibly disrespectful to me and to our marriage." If he continues to lie to your face, then turn around and walk out of the room.
You can't force him to stop cheating. But you CAN remove yourself from any disrespectful conversations, and lying directly to your face it the ultimate form of disrespect. He may or may not stop doing it, but YOU will feel infinitely better about yourself!
