He's not gone yet but says his feelings are gone

[Hurt-but-Hopeful]

This weekend was nice. We both had Friday off of work. When I got home Thursday after MC, he seemed really upbeat and back to his normal self. Still no affectionate moves on his part. Even though it felt very normal, and I had to contain myself not to hug him or cuddle up on the couch like we normally do, I kept my distance. Sat and Sun was pretty much the same. Happy, upbeat, laughing & he was even teasing me some. He seemed more like himself. I thought that maybe small touches here and there might jumpstart his affections again. Nothing big, or pressuring. Just a hand on his arm if I was reaching for something near him. Rubbed his arm when I said good night in bed. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie with S. S usually sits between us, but Sun he asked me to sit next to H so he could lay on the pillow on the end. We were kinda squished together. H laid back and started to snooze so I leaned over on him to do the same, and then S leaned over on me. He didn't move over or anything but no real response, either. Unfortunately, the phone rang a little while later & I left him to nap on the couch while S watched his movie.

Last night I told him ILY after saying good night, our old routine, and he said it back. This AM he came to give me his routine kiss & ILY before leaving for work. I hope it's not my imagination, but this AM it seemed like a longer kiss than the usual cursory, rushed peck I've been getting lately. He said he kept doing that because of being on the road so much & you never know what could happen. This AM felt like a REAL kiss and not an obligation.

Then he called me early this AM to ask how S did when I dropped him off at school. He used to do that all the time, but hadn't called me much at work recently. We mostly talked about S. He told me what his plans were for work that day (he does service work & can be called all over the place in a given day). We hung up, usual ILY, which hasn't changed recently. Then he called me back about 10 minutes later. The girl who cut my hair is the daughter of a lady he works with. He called to tell me what the girl had said to her mom about meeting me & doing my hair. It was all positive & I was glad he called.

All of that seems so positive. He even talked this weekend about deciding before winter whether to keep one of our cars or trade it in for a new one. That goes counter to him leaving because neither one of us can afford to live separately right now, much less with a car payment. Both of our cars are currently paid off.

My plan is just to keep doing more of the same. Keeping a PMA, although it's hard when I still feel shut out from his emotions & affection, keep doing things for me, and hope that he comes around.

I know I haven't been in this sitch at long as some of the people around here. I just don't know whether to do anything differently, or not. It all seems to be working. I'm feeling better about myself, he's noticing and hasn't left yet. Are we piecing? He has agreed to keep going to MC, but still hasn't said, Yes, I am staying and working on this.