This thing gets crazier by the day. I get so many mixed signals I don't know if it's her sending them, or my wishful thinking. Probably a little of both, I'm sure.
Went out to Easter brunch yesterday. She asked me Saturday if she was invited or not. I had told her SEVERAL times she was. She wanted to know if I thought it would be awkward. I told her it would be awkward either way, but she should do what she wants to do. She went, largely I suspect for our kids especially my D(23) who won't really talk to her much right now. At one point my brother made a comment about W wedding ring and I thought he noticed she wasn't wearing it. But when I looked, she had it on. Surprised the heck out of me. Kept it on all day, but when she left for work this morning it was back in its box on the dresser.
As for the OM, they speak on the phone at least two times a day - sometimes more. Usually on her way to work, and on her way home (at the least). With LOTS of texting everyday, around a hundred or so. She didn't seem to have any contact with him this Easter weekend that I could tell by the phone records. But I noticed they spoke this morning on her way to work again. Maybe he was out of town or something. Who knows.
Other than a little bit of a rough start Saturday morning, had a pretty good weekend. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn Saturday night she was coming on to me, even! However, nothing happened and the moment seemed to pass. I called this morning and finally retained a lawyer. We are scheduled for mediation on May 10, with the D supposed to be final on June 2. Hope I can come out of this without being fleeced to bad. Right now looks like I will be financing her decision to leave me to go be with another man for a loooooong time. Talking lifetime spousal support, which means until we both start collecting social security as far as I can tell so far. Thats another 20 years. Well, I'll try and not let it drag me down TOO much. LOL!
I'm still working out, going to church with my kids, trying to make new friends (recently joined facebook), got readmitted to college (have about 3 classes to get my bachelors, probably start back in fall semester), reconnecting with old friends, and reestablishing ties with family members. It's funny, I had kind of let my friends and family drift away because I had built my whole life around my W and kids. Now she is leaving, and I need to try and reconnect with those people that I let wander out of my life. I am trying to subscribe to the theory that things happen for a reason. I have to look at why this all started, and what brought me to this point. There has to be something good that comes out of this. And the 5 week countdown to the end of my M begins!
