Thanks Wii. Tuesdays are usually pretty busy so I won't really get any down time until late this evening.
Heard back from the real estate people - the closing went off without a hitch. I should see the remaining proceeds hit the bank account tomorrow since it was being wired in. I got a couple of checks to write once that happens to cover the last minute stuff done before closing. W said her pass through on last year's taxes is complete and is going to hand it off to me tonight when I drop S off with her and D for the night. The hit from the feds isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and we're actually getting a sizeable amount back from the state. When W and I had to hit our 401k's last year, I think we paid more to the state than we needed to - hence the (likely) large refund.
I have a couple of weeks to pour over the tax forms before they need to be sent out so I don't feel rushed to do them...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
The proceeds did hit the joint account as I had planned. I did e-mail to W that there were some expenses related to selling the house that I would take out so that I could write the checks to pay them off. I did that and nary a peep from W about it...
The kids are off from school this week as it is their spring break. Last year when I had them we were in the process of settling into my new digs. This year W has them. Because she does not have any dogs at her place, the kids feel safer during the days at my place. But W hasn't asked yet if she can drop them off on her way to work yet. I would not refuse if she makes the request - just her choice that she has not asked...
I hope it's a quiet week. The weather here turned downright cold and dreary but that's what you get for Spring sometimes...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
As I figured, W wanted to keep our usual routine with the kids during their Spring break. I didn't have any problems with that - it meant more time with them and that is always a plus.
Also no difficulties after the sale of the house. It was nice not to have W e-mail me to transfer money to her account to cover my share of the mortgage and home equity loan.
But it is finally feeling like Spring. Our local baseball farm team is starting their season (Rays affiliate - sorry Wii...) It will take a couple of months to get my financial bearings straight but I will get there...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
With the spate of tornadoes that came through last Saturday, I was barely affected and fortunately nearly all of my friends got through it without any problems. But my heart goes out to those who weren't so lucky. And it's sobering to look at the pictures and videos and think "there but for the grace of God..."
My IC and I talked about that at the start of my session last Monday. Then we moved on to more mundane stuff - the house sale, taking care of taxes, how the kids were doing lately, etc. So far, W hasn't approached me about needing to draw money from the sale so I guess she is trying to find out what the new "financial normal" is going to be without carrying half of a mortgage and home equity loan on top of her regular expenses - just like I am...
Something did come up in the aftermath of doing taxes that has me a bit perplexed. This year was W's turn to do the initial runthrough and I would check her work. On the first attempt, we thought we covered everything and I signed the forms. But we both overlooked to include S's summer camp expenses, etc. on the 1040 (W deducts some from her pay to put into a Dependent Care Account). So she regenerated the forms (total of less than $30 to add to the mix). We owed the feds quite a bit (due to both of us tapping into our 401k's) but the refund from the state more than makes up for that. I signed my portions and wrote a check off of the house proceeds to cover it. W also included with the forms some calculations she did detailing that I withheld far more in taxes than she did.
Again - I thought this was odd and talked about it with the IC. We both think that W was feeling a bit of remorse about me having shelled out so much for getting the house sold and making sure the kids' school tuition is covered for next year. We haven't retooled our sep agreement to reflect the house sale but if that doesn't get moving relatively soon, I should get my L to contact W's L and get things finalized.
All told, the past couple of weeks have been uneventful. Right now the car is getting some routine maintenance done (hence the time to make a post) and I have the kids until late afternoon (they have today off as well) when W will take them for the weekend...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
First and foremost - I hope everyone had a safe and Happy Easter!
This was the first one that I have spent without the kids so it has been a bit tough. I know STBEX took care of things this year at her place but the kids will find that the Easter Bunny made a stop by my place. Nothing fancy - but it will be waiting for them in the next day or two...
I can tell the next stretch of road is going to be tough. Next Sunday will be my 20th anniversary. But I will have the kids that weekend (S is going on a camping trip that will be done late Sunday morning and D will be here the entire time). Despite the road that I am on (and that a lot of you have had to travel), I will always be grateful to STBEX that we were able to conceive and nuture our kids and that we are able to work together on their behalf despite the past several years.
But maybe it is time to start some new traditions to occupy May 1st. Not sure what that could entail, but I really need to embrace something wonderful and positive besides seeing my kids grow and mature...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
New traditions help. The past two Christmas vacations I've taken the girls to Wisconsin Dells.
My 15th anniversary is Wednesday and I'll have to see STBXW. I think that'll be tough.
Not having the girls for Easter wasn't hard for me. They spent the day at the MIL house. I'm finally admitting to myself that I HATED holidays over there. I always just tolerated it. I never looked forward to it. So today I ate at a coworker's house and it was really good.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Hi, Daybreak! I’m sorry that things didn’t work out for you, but it sounds like things are moving along. Would you call it amicable? I remember VA Beach very well. That was a nice weekend… maybe a little more wild than I’m comfortable with on the last night, but I’m prudish by nature and that’s not anyone else’s fault. Besides that weekend my situation was tipping toward reconciliation. In retrospect, I wish it had just ended then. Seems like such a waste to get one’s head in a good place about D, only to have to start all over again seven years later. Of course, this time it’s me that wants the D. Do you ever get exhausted by all of this? Holidays are hard, but I think long weekends are the hardest. It’s good to spend the time with others and start your own traditions. Here’s wishing you well.
Do I ever get tired of this? Absolutely. Because of the kids, I will always have some sort of interaction with STBEX and it is in everyone's best interest that I do my best to be cordial. Frankly, she threw me under the bus years ago and shows no interest in my life when the kids are not involved.
At my last session with IC, we talked a bit about how I saw my future shaping up. Although I can get along without anyone to share the journey, I really want to share that journey with someone and IC agrees that I am so ready to handle that. I have several more chapters to write in my life story and I am not getting any younger...
Journaling...
Sunday marked the 20th A of when STBEX and I exchanged vows in front of a notary public at a bank in FL that my mother managed. I did not see or interact with STBEX but I took a few minutes during my morning walk with the dogs to reflect on what was. I will always be thankful for our two kids and the good years that we did have. But the less direct interaction I have with her, the healthier I will be...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Besides that weekend my situation was tipping toward reconciliation. In retrospect, I wish it had just ended then. Seems like such a waste to get one’s head in a good place about D, only to have to start all over again seven years later. Of course, this time it’s me that wants the D. Do you ever get exhausted by all of this? Holidays are hard, but I think long weekends are the hardest. It’s good to spend the time with others and start your own traditions. Here’s wishing you well.