AJM, I'd be VERY interested in hearing your side and perspective.
Sorry for hijacking this thread, sparks. I've done a lot of Mars/Venus work (with a great Venus friend) and also have reviewed a lot of Robbins/Maddanes work. As Robbins likes to say "when does she need your full attention? All the f'n time!" lol. It's so true! And Mars just doesn't get it... And Venus doesn't get why Mars doesn't get it... :-)
Have you posted any of those feelings in your topics or elsewhere?
KD - Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to hijack! I am constantly learning.
I do like your quote from Robbins. It is very true!
It is the same when my W presented me with the idea that she has felt unheard. I had no idea that she felt this way, yet it was the biggest reason for her escape. There were probably hundreds of times where I did not fully listen to my W and give her my full attention. My W provided some examples last week that blew my mind. They were little examples where maybe I was watching a game and she mentioned a conversation she had with a friend. I might have been half checked in. I even responded to her but would shortly go right back to the game I was watching. I just was not giving her my undivided attention. In typical Mars thinking, I had no idea.
Now that my M is in dire circumstances, I can not help but think that all of this could have been avoided if I really knew what my W was feeling. I just didn't get her hints. Now that I know what is important to my W, I think I can provide for her what she needs. Maybe I am trying to "fix" things in a typical Mars fashion. I don't know. I just find instances where my behaviors have let my W down. Since these are not good behaviors, and I never intended to let the woman that I love so dearly down, it seems natural that I would want to change these behaviors.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
