Is it really never too late?

[grebjack]

I don't get going dark. I mean, I understand that you want your spouse to miss you and recall what was great about having you around. But I don't think absence makes the heart grow fonder for either me or my husband - I certainly miss him more when I've just seen him and the pleasure of that interaction is fresh in my mind.

I'm lucky - my husband doesn't even try to push my buttons. I'm not even sure he knows how to be manipulative. And I hear from the other people in my Divorce Care group, how their spouses say quite clearly that they don't want to be married, don't love them anymore, never loved them. So I feel lucky that I'm not in that situation, that I still have hope of a reconciliation, at the same time it makes even the Divorce Care group lonely, because everyone else there is working on starting over, and I'm not ready to walk away yet.

How long will I wait? My father-in-law is divorced from my husband's mother, but he is almost 30 years separated from his second wife. As far as he knows he isn't divorced, which has screwed up all his relationships since, but she may have filed on grounds of desertion and couldn't find him to serve him papers! I don't want to file, 'cause I'm not the one who wants out, but after he moves back to Illinois and another year or two passes? I know this is pessimistic thinking. I wish I had some sense of how often this works. It seems like almost everyone on these boards gets divorced or goes silent. Not very inspiring...