I too have a prob with FB Bobby! H joined after bomb dropped. I have been on it for two years but don't need to create drama/posts. H posted something Sat morning "Is it better to know or not know? Is ignorance bliss or ignoring the inevitable?" 13 people just say to drink more and don't do it, don't go back. How date any of them say that? They have no idea what is going on in the realtionship and it just give the WAS a way to justify their decision.
H:41 W:44 D1:19 D2:17 S:13 D3:7 T:20 M:18 Bomb:1/5/11 Sep:2/18/11 No D filed yet; just threats
Its 3:00 am and she swore she would not be in late. New OM i found it on her phone. Was normal for a few hours today hanging wD3 and myself, and then around 8 she became someone else now I wonder where she is is and with whom (football team?)this is crazy how can someone survive this, found out she was soliciting 3somes and more on craigslist and when you think there is light at the end of the tunnel its more insanity. this a 43 year old woman who is looking for a job as a social worker how screwedup is this
You've got to stop snooping and ler her go man. You have no control over what she does. It will just drive you nuts. Jump off that train man. Prayers, Pickle
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Well we had the R talk weds she said that she built a wall around herself to protect from feeling hurt(all my fault).She said lets clarify things and told me you know why im doing this, I said not really. It was all my fault blah blah blah. No account ability I lisened and told her that I validate her feelings and that Love was a decision not a transient rush she didnt believe that. I also told her that I will support her journey of personal dicovery and that I thought it was good. She says what does it matter at this point if I text a guy or sleep with a guy it was her choice right?! i told her that would feel hurt if she did that and she says she understands. Dont know what this means to a W who wears panty liners after I had found seamen in her panties. At this point I have been somewhat aloof (grey) and have said nothing today after she had gone to bar to celebrate her last class in her masters yet she came home at 8:30 and had brought me a gift of a new lunch box????
I think I have seen some baby steps.... maybe?. i pray to god to make me a stronger person and to save pur family from destruction. Have grown a strip of hair down my chin and dyed it as well as let my hair grow longer and got some compliments last night in town,"you look alot younger" got hit on too. have dropped 30 lbs and started to work out which my body responds VERY quickly!
Dont know where she is now in her MLC head but I feel better everyday less crying.we had some friend time last night and were able to laugh and talk about mundane things.
W and I are going to church for easter as a whole family her suggestion should prove to be interesting. her suggestion to invite my dad over as well as my brother so we will see..
Well W and 3 children went to sunrise service this morning at the church on the lake. was foggy and damp and as the service started outside on the steps the sun started to rise and the fog burned off and it became beutiful. the service was about death and resurection it was short and sweet and to the point about how we can experience a death (metaphorically speaking) several times a day ect and how we can turn thease deaths into new life,quite fitting W heard it too. Afterward kids had a easter egg hunt and they served us a full breakfast which was killer.
When we got home @ 730 I went in while W groomed in car mirror and couldnt help my self but snooped a bit and found all my texts to a friend (female) about my sitch. I politely confronted her and she said how did you Know and I admitted that I had snooped and then she admitted that she did too,to which I made a comment that this was like the old mad magazine cartoon "spy vs spy" she then laughed and we both admitted that it was silly for both of us to do. I had gone grey for awhile and she admitted that she didnt know what was going on in my head so she was looking I agreed not to do it again and so did she. Some of the things I texted about were less than flattering and I erased them from her phone to which she replyed that she had wrote them down anyway. This is hearsay one my part and a personal correspondence on my phone so it wouldent meen much in court anyway if iT WERE TO COME TO THAT
We ended up cleaning and organizing for many hours and cooking before company arrived around 5 we had a very successful meal with my brother and father and niece..the kids played outside and had a wonderful time. W was a bear to the kids during the cleaning phase short tempered angry and reactionary. I didnt even raise an eyebrow DB'ed hard kept my cool and acted as if,180's ect. usually it would have been me to be the short tempered one funny how this dynamic changes. Later in the day she called me Hon and dear twice.
After dinner and D3 was being read to we even positioned on couch head to foot with D on top of both of us,this is a real new one. I was kind, courtious, a good helping friend all day she reacted positively saw what may be baby steps but have no expectations.
has anyone ever had a sitch where this happened. For me it was a tremendous relief to finally drop the snooping and finding out that she was doing the same, the tension has been relieved a bit so I am much more relaxed now.
