Thank You kml! He is on Dostinex among a few other things. I thought about calling his doctor but then figured he would not see me. I am sure he has is dosage conrolled but he is on a few other things such as Ambien and a small dose of a anti-depressant. I will do some more research ASAP as well as look at the link.
abbey, I am not planning on changing who I am. I am a christian woman who was tought to love those who do not love me. I will continue to love him regardless of how he treats me. I refuse to let this turn ugly.
No one said stop loving him. There's a difference between self respect and being "ugly" to someone. Moreover, the one good positive that came out of my whole DB experience was the changes I made in me. Are you saying you will not change anything about you? I mean, you said that but I have a hard time believing you meant it, if you've done soul searching or read the books. Am I missing something here?
I am pretty sure he is planning something for Friday (i.e. filing for D) as I heard him talking on the phone behind closed doors last night. I think I would feel better if I knew for sure that it was only about our marriage, but he also has unresolved childhood issues big time, depression, and anger issues. All of which he would of course deny. I would hate to throw away 15 years if there are other causes. YOU have no control over HIS issues/actions. Only yourself. The faster you focus on what you CAN do, the better.
He is just so stubborn that he refuses help and denies there is anything else other than his unhappiness in our marriage that is causing his decisions. That's par for the course. The only thing he can "fix" in his life is removing you from it, in his mind. Typical for MLC and WAHs. Btw, I am not into categorizing a lot about MLC versus WAH. I don't think the approaches change and worse, a lot of women hope it's MLC b/c they either can't handle the idea of OW or b/c they think their chances of a reconciliation are higher with an MLC. I don't think there's a ton of evidence to support that but I wish to God I had not spent so much time focussed on my h and what he wanted/felt/thought and had more quickly worked out what I needed to feel happy in my life, with or without h. Ironically it was when real detachment happened, (detachment does not mean you don't care) that h began to come around.
GAL is definitely counter-intuitive as it feels as if I am giving up trying to fix the situation. I feel that if I stop focusing on it then it will crumble even faster. AAAAGGGHHHH!If you believe this, then you have Not read and understood DB. You have to bring something to the table other than your pursuit and neediness. That comes from GAL, among other things. Have you really read the DB books?
Thank You all for your support in these unbelievably trying times!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
